The Revealing

Long ago, there was a word, and that word was Swag. And that Swag was a man, and his name was Lil B. With a godlike aura that surrounded him, Lil B amassed a large following of those who wished to become Based. Seeing that these people otherwise had no place to go, Lil B founded the Bitch Mob Task Force.

Growing quickly in numbers, The Task Force established their promised land in Arkadia, with the Based God overseeing the prosperity of the fertile soil. It is a land where the people are free to be themselves, and able to carry out the will of the BasedGod. They enjoyed an era of relative peace, with any hostile (fake based) neighboring territories quickly being forced into submission by the BasedGod’s elite squadron #tybg.

The reserved but brilliant minded Jordarius Hilarious Librarious became a top ranked official amongst the Task Force. He and Lil B made a covenant that ensures that the Task Force Bitch Mob succeeds in spreading positivity throughout the land for future generations. Lil B also entrusts that Jordarius carries out the leadership duties of the Bitch Mob if there is any instance where he is absent.

Chapter 1: Humphrey Rising

While thuggin’ with the Bitch Mob, Addy feels a strange force come over him and he attacks Jordarius. Jordarius is able to hold him off long enough for Mr Brad to immobilize Addy. This counterattack nearly comes at the cost of Addy’s life and he is hospitalized due to the severity of his injuries.

In the hospital, Addy regains consciousness. Addy reveals that he was possessed by a strange force, he wasn’t sure where this force came from, but he sure knew its name. Its name was Humphrey.

Lil B has an emergency meeting with the Bitch Mob, feeling tension in the air. He informs the Task Force that a great battle awaits them and that his time may be coming to a close.

Weeks later, Lil B vanishes from Arkadia, and the Task Force conducts a nationwide search for his whereabouts. In the midst of a storm, Jordarius finds Lil B’s mangled corpse. He had arrived early enough to see that the BasedGod was killed by a rogue unit of the Task Force Bitch Mob known as THOTS (They Hate Our Tremendous Swag) and their enigmatic leader, Humphrey. But unfortunately for Jordarius, it was too late for him to take any of sort of action that could’ve saved B’s life. A great burden falls upon the shoulders of the Bitch Mob Admiral, as he has to break the news to the rest of his unit.

The Task Force finds themselves lugubrious upon hearing the news of Lil B’s demise. Following a mass exodus of the Task Force’s numbers, the Bitch Mob comes to an end, with many former members committing seppuku to atone for their sins against the BasedGod. Jordarius does not let this interfere with his desire for vengeance. Disavowed and cast into the shadows, he decides to band together the remaining willing and able members of the Bitch Mob to form ATUG (All The Unholy Gangstas).

ATUG launches a guerrilla recruiting campaign, amassing many new members amongst their ranks. They proceed to launch an unprecedented amount of attacks towards THOTS headquarters in search of Humphrey, thus begins the Humphrey Retrieval Arc.

Chapter 2: Betrayal

Despite the the great progress ATUG has made, Jordarius has grown increasingly restless as his conquests never lead to any clue towards Humphrey’s identity. Day in and day out, he searched tirelessly for information regarding Humphrey and inadvertently ends up the unlocking secrets of the universe only known to those who experience the 32 Levels of Based. Despite his enlightenment, a close eye is being kept on Jordarius from afar.

While on a reconnaissance mission, Jordarius is ambushed and shot at point blank range. Fortunately, he survives but is more vigilant than ever.

ATUG declares a state of emergency following the attempt on Jordarius’ life. Weeks go by and things seem to go back to the status quo. This changes when High Chief Raheem is found dead on the shores of Flexico, with the assailants leaving his decapitated head as a warning.

Jordarius’ right hand man Speedweed aka Diercke grows tired of what he believes is incompetence on Jordarius’ behalf. Wanting to take power all for himself, he challenges Jordarius in battle.

Jordarius and ATUG secretary of state Chino fight valiantly, but meet their end at the hands of Diercke. Word of Jordarius’ demise spreads throughout ATUG’s members. They ultimately decide to stay under Diercke’s leadership in awe of his mighty strength and in fear of meeting a similar fate to their slain leader. He then forms a pact with an entity known as THE GOON, believing that he may hold the key to Humphrey’s true identity.

Diercke is driven entirely by an unwavering bloodlust, eradicating anybody named Humphrey from the face of the earth. Although he is able to subjugate hordes of ATUG’s enemies, too many innocent lives were lost in the process. He even goes as far as slandering the sacred name of ATUG, rebranding his dictatorship the dreaded Thotwagon Foundation.

Jordarius reunites with Raheem in the 5th circle of hell, where they experience pain and agony for every waking moment. However, they are only emboldened by this fate, determined to find a way out. They spend their time in the underworld training, honing their skills to the utmost maximum.

After constructing a giant drill powered by opioid addicts’ blood pressure to pierce into hell, Bane Strangler makes a surprising discovery. Upon arrival, he saves Jordarius and Raheem from the bowels of hell and they walk the mortal realm once again, complete with new outfits.

Chapter 3: The

Jordarius challenges Diercke to a duel that will determine the fate of the earth. The fight lasts for multiple seasons, with the two fighting from June to February with no end in sight. The two are equals in strength, with Diercke also having grown in power due to the countless individuals slain by his cold, unfeeling, dirty, grimy, decrepit witch hands.

Evenly matched with no signs of one emerging victorious over the other, Jordarius self destructs, having learned the technique while training in hell.

In what seemed to be the greatest moment of his life, Jordarius is able to vanquish Diercke. Surprisingly, neither lost their life in Jordarius’ last ditch effort, although Diercke lost his arm in the process.

Elsewhere, Dirty Mike shows up just in time to thwart THE GOON’s plans and take him on in hand to hand, one on one combat. It’s no holds barred and neither will leave this fight unhurt. “Eyyyy, let us see who will win,” Mike said with an unwavering resolve in his voice. THE GOON responded with an inhuman shriek and lunged towards Mama Luigi, setting the stage for yet another battle to determine the fate of the Universe.

Having put their differences aside, Jordarius and Diercke appoint Mr Brad as the new leader of ATUG, citing his efforts in slaying Dudley and Gilbert, two of Humphrey’s high ranking lieutenants. In his battles, Mr Brad was able to gather indispensable intel regarding the inner machinations of Humphrey’s army. Having gathered their strength in a small but lethal handful of based individuals, ATUG sets their sights on the true whereabouts of Humphrey: Gary, Indiana.

It seems that the members of ATUG have renewed their resolve, shaping up to be one true successor of the Bitch Mob Task Force. Will ATUG be able to finally avenge Lil B? What possible connections does Jordarius have with Humphrey? Will Diercke ever be able to find the world’s largest backwood? Find out on the next installment of ATUG BALL GT!!